So WTF is NSGW?
The holiday that started it all…
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This was the video I made just before I sat down with my notepad on my gay holiday (in a gay hotel) to work out why I was feeling so blue. I wrote down what makes me fulfilled and what makes me feel valueless.
After filling a couple of pages, I turned over a leaf and wrote NO SEX WEEKENDS.
Surrounded by the hyper-sexualisation of places like Torremolinonos - and many others - I wondered how much easier it would be to connect if sex wasn’t the currency and people didn’t feel like products on the shelf.
I realised that the environment creates this as much as anything else and, whenever we engage in it, we perpetuate it ever more.
And where other people are objects to admire, use, discard… so too are we… even those most in demand (not me by the way!)
That’s why I’m creating @nosexgayweekend
Weekends away in non-gay centred but fabulous destinations where we can connect and make friends - and possibly more - but with one rule… no sex!
I’m hoping it will allow everyone there a chance to redefine ‘fun’ to become something more valuable.
…to our first weekend in Oxford!
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No Sex Gay Weekends helps gay guys form meaningful connections in awesome locations. We believe there’s a deeper, more fulfilling way for gay men to connect and - with intention - aim to create this environment together.
The “No Sex” philosophy is about seeing each other and ourselves without the lens of objectification, “status”, conquest, or validation through sex. The aim is to escape this self-perpetuating circle and form friendships, and possibly more, by engaging with each other as people first, not sexual prospects.
The project aims to redefine “fun” in the gay community - we want to help guys connect by sharing interests, trying new things, and creating a warm, open atmosphere of social ease and fun.
There’s a whole world out there, but, sometimes with good reason, we often congregate in places known to be “gay” and thus reduce our options for travel. This project encourages our community to explore places we perhaps wouldn’t normally go to - together.
There is zero tolerance for drugs. Alcohol, if consumed, must be in moderation and the group leader(s) reserve the right to rescind access to the project and events at any time should members behave inappropriately. Be aware that members of the group may be sober; do not question this or make a big deal out of it.
The group aims to create an environment where friends are made - and it would give us great pleasure to hear that meaningful relationships are formed… after.
All members of the group must abide by the essential rule of No Sex for the period of the event. This includes avoiding overtly flirtatious or sexualised behaviour, and definitely not judging people by looks, whether you fancy them a lot or not at all. We can only create this space together.
Welcome and consensual physical contact such as friendly hugs are, of course, fine. Members of the group may share rooms to reduce costs but are doubly encouraged to remember the philosophy of the group. Couples can attend but are encouraged to avoid any romantic or sexual behaviours with each other.
Phones are discouraged, especially some of the apps on them 👀
Be sensitive to others’ privacy and ask before taking or publishing any photos or videos. What’s shared in the group should be treated with sensitivity and a bias towards confidentiality to ensure a safe and welcoming environment.
Be open to connect with all members of the group, take an interest in them, engage with the project with intention.
Be aware that political or social opinions that may seem obvious to you may be contentious to others. Should these be raised, they must be engaged with in a curious and empathetic manner. Be sensitive to how other people feel and be conscious of the warm and welcoming space we are creating - even if you think you are totally right.
Any discriminatory language or behaviour as defined by the UK Equality Act 2010 is forbidden. If you experience or witness anything that makes you uncomfortable, please speak to the group leader(s) privately and promptly. We will handle all concerns with fairness, care and discretion to the best of our ability.
The project will make best efforts to make events accessible within the limits of organisational capacity. Please let us know if you require adjustments.
No Sex Gay Weekend exists to provide an alternative social environment especially for gay men as an antidote to a specific lifestyle and way of connecting. This may change in the future.
We aim to stop the cycle of facilitating and perpetuating the cycle of treating other people - and ourselves - as objects, and we can create a healthier community by making a conscious effort to change our behaviours.
We believe sex can be a joyful, positive, healthy - and essential - part of life. This project aims to create an atmosphere where we can ensure our relationship with it and each other is integrative and positive rather than from a place of needing validation or instant gratification. And it’s just a weekend…
We know that showing up in a new space - especially one like this - can be a little nerve-wracking. We are here to make it warm, welcoming, and a great time. Show up as your full self, with an open heart, and ready to engage in the values of the project. We’re always here to chat if you feel nervous.
All attendees must agree to this Philosophy and Code of Conduct before joining any event.
We can’t wait to create something special with you!
Last revised 7th July 2025
Meaningful connections
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Awesome locations
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Meaningful connections * Awesome locations *
👀 What do you mean No Sex?? (and other questions)
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Yep!
But really this is about changing how we look at each other - and ourselves.
In a hypersexualised gay world, we often facilitate and perpetuate the cycle of treating other people - and ourselves - as objects.
This project is not anti-sex, it’s about the intention to connect as people first, and then whatever happens after - great!
And you know what they say about desire when it’s forbidden… 🔥
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There are so many amazing places beyond gay destinations. I’ve been to many places just because they’re “gay” - Torremolinos, Maspalomas, Mykonos - even the cities I’ve chosen to live in… Madrid, London etc.
And yet, and yet!
There is a whole world out there. So we’re going to explore amazing places - gay guys in non-gay destinations.
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From outdoor adventures, cooking and eating together, music and dancing, activities, to social events, exploration, cultural excursions, sharing stories… it’s all about creating connections and making memories.
Example schedules to come!
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Activities, tours, visits and events are included. Food and drink, travel and accommodation are not included as standard, though I am working to provide some as a bonus. Hang tight!
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Ok there’s already a ban on s*x, we don’t need to go full puritan.
Alcohol will be allowed, but definitely won’t be the focus of the event.
No drugs allowed.
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Absolutely. And they should sign up too!
This project will also be a great place for people in couples who might want to make new friends and do new things.
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Currently yes. This project is a specific alternative to a gay male environment. We may find this changes over time
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Absolutely - and you’re also free to take a break whenever you like. At our events so far, almost everyone has come alone. What’s been heartwarming is to see people want to carry on after with new friends and with meaningful connections.
Also it’s our job to make everyone feel welcome. You can chat to us whenever!
Who even are you?
Hola, I’m Chris, a Brit in Madrid. I moved here after ten years in London in search of a happier life - and I have to say Spain is delivering 🎉
I post on socials, so it’s probably the best way to get to know me.
See you soon!
What people say about NGSW
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I have had the BEST time, this was such a freaking good day. Loved meeting you all. Like everyone else I’m so up for meeting again sometime. How did you find such a great bunch Christopher?? Thank you for making this happen! 💚💚
Oxford 2025 attendee
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It was a fantastic weekend, pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed it. Thank you to Chris for planning the trip, and thank you to literally every person here who were just incredibly friendly great bunch of gays ❤️❤️
Oxford 2025 attendee
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It was a wonderful time and truly such a lovely experience to meet people in that kind of setting, honestly I had a blast
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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Massive thanks for the last two days 🙌 was really good meeting you all, chatting, connecting, and laughing off the social awkwardness 😅 Really enjoyed it and would love to keep in touch. Big thanks to Christopher for organising, keep it going, can’t wait for October!
Oxford 2025 attendee
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Just walking back to the car and wanted to say thanks for a brilliant day. It’s rare to meet a such a nice group of guys, so glad to have met you all 🥹
Oxford 2025 attendee
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I had such an awesome time with you folks. You really made my day, it was absolutely lovely to meet you and had such a blast. Punting was definitely an experience 😂 but I want to call out how grateful I am for your friendliness and kindness. You’re a special bunch, it was amazing to have such a cracking time with you!!
Oxford 2025 attendee
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Thank you for yesterday, had truly a lovely time 😊 let me know when the next one is
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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Great to meet you and the rest of the guys! Looking forward for the next round”
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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I had a great time. It's been a while since I've gone to an event and it was fun to meet people 😊
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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I actually loved it
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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Congratulations! Yesterday was great. Hopefully we have weekends coming up soon!
Pre-Pride Picnic attendee
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Very nice, really enjoyable and something different!
Dessert Crawl attendee
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Such a fun time! Yummy spots and good vibes 😎
Dessert Crawl attendee
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Loved it! So chill, and everyone was of the same mentality, just looking to chat, hang out and make friends.
Dessert Crawl attendee